But let me back trac here for a second. Firstly David Morgavage contacts me and asks if I'll host the event. After the great appearance Scott Lindgren put in, I was thinking "now those are some shoes to fill". But hell, why not.

So now its time to fly down. Make sure i get theat flight I think, and I show up 3 hrs early for the plane. I still managed to miss the plane. Some little old lady in front of me was strip searched. I think they found 3 rocket launchers, 2 A bombs, 2 cases of pepper spray, and a vial of Viagra, all in her shoes!

Meanwhile, David has arranged to meet me with "either" a gang of guys sporting little toothbrush mustaches... or 4 escorts (no, not that kind of escort!!!). He opted for no 2. However, Limo, girls and all arrive at the airport, only to find I'm still sitting in Montreal. 5 Hours later I make it to lexington, and am met by David, and Milt (from Whitewater video.com). No girls, no mustaches. Nadda. Bugger!!!

And off to Burges's (thats the guy with the huge smile in the photo here. I wonder why) place in the woods. the most amazing place you can imagine, and... about 8 bottles of Burbon! Enter the lovely women, and the first one walks up to me and says "Hi Corran. if there's anything you need, just let me know" and she walks off. I had no idea she was one of the escorts, and so I thought luck had finally caught up with me. This was followed by similar offers from 3 more. Eventually, reality set in and I realised that I wasn;t the most attractive guy there... they were paid to be nice to me.

Hey, at my age, I'll take it!

The next day we rolled into the film festival in the limo, and the 4 beautiful women. They step out of the limo, help me out, and escorted me into the building.

Now, here is the real cake. In the same theatre... none other than Mel Gibson's "Passion" is playing. So I'm walking the red carpet with 4 fantastic women on my arm, and 200 Bible bashing evangelists come shuffeling out of the theatre, balling and crying, and there i stand, as smug as can be. Now, THAT is poetry!

Did I mention this was a paddling film festival? Well, yeah, it is. And I have to say the calibre of films were fantastic. Everything from the truly bizzare, to great and original pieces and of course, paddling porn. Something for everyone (you should see the looks you get from the Passion crowd evertime I mentiond "Paddling Porn").

I have to say, it was a real pleaure to be there, and meet so many people that I have conversed with over the years but never met, and of course, to see old friends again too.

A special thanks to everyone at the NPFF for the awesome weekend, to the 4 girls (Raina, Jamie, Shay and Carissa), To Burgess (thanks for the Burbon... I think), David for inviting me down, and of course also to Vince Shay for giving me these pictures.